Sometimes, my weeks get reaaalllllllllly long. Usually this happens when my husband is working longer-than-usual hours :) We homeschool, and simply being at home, all day, with 4 children, can get challenging. As if the housework, laundry, cooking, and school weren't enough, there is the individual personalities, the behavior issues that pop up, the attitudes needing checked, the chores to supervise...and that's just when everyone has slept reasonably well...the normal stuff!
I find that I regularly pray for more patience because I know I need it. More than ever! I desire to be a Mom who can remain in control when situations feel out-of-control. I desire to keep an atmosphere of peace in our home, a place where we can be nourished physically, mentally, and spiritually. The last year and a half or so, has brought our family some new challenges as children change and grow and mature, and, the addition of our precious baby, now one. Also a change of direction (and therefore, a new company) for my husband's career, and adding our son to the homeschooling roster.
And then I read about Cora, here: http://themcclenahans.blogspot.com. My only connection, is that her Grandfather was a favorite teacher and I graduated from the same high school as Cora's Dad (but many years prior!). It's a small, Christian, rural high school, located in a tiny town, kind out in the middle of nowhere. Many families have multiple generations who attend there, and there's a camaraderie among alumni. So, anyway, Cora's story touched my heart deeply. As a Mother, how could I not be touched? To read about an 11-month-old who goes to the Doctor for an ear infection, but instead, stage 4 neuroblastoma (cancer) is discovered. And about 2 weeks later, after multiple surgeries she bravely battled, her fight on earth is over. She is now cancer free, but in Heaven. What a hole she must leave in her young parents' life and home! Cora was a beautifuly, chubby baby, on the verge of her 1st birthday...her smile is contagious, her eyes sparkly...I have no doubt that this baby lit up her little world. There are no words of wisdom, no comfort I can offer...but this story has kept me in prayer throughout my days lately. Even now, I pray for her grieving family, marveling at their unshaken faith in our Lord, even in such a tragic trial. I pray that God will restore to them the joy that only He can give...I pray that God surrounds them with His own presence, and that of friends who will carry them through these dark days.
And I pray for our home. I pray that I can be the Mother He desires me to be. I thank Him for the health He has thus-far blessed us with. I hold my baby, only 3 months older than little Cora, and I thank God that she is here. I kiss her again and again, I watch her toddle around, cheering her on, and painfully aware of the blessing such moments are. For somewhere, not too far away, a mother is now longing for such simple moments.
While we must live our lives, while my life moves on...I pray that I will remember life is sacred. Life is precious. These moments cannot be taken for granted; we do not know at what point they will end. Baby Cora's first Christmas was also her last...and yet no one would ever have guessed. She won't walk here on earth, she won't celebrate her first birthday with her parents. Sometimes, a life ends with a suddeness that takes my breath away. I am thankful she is in Heaven with Jesus, hopefully playing with other children, their innocence eternally preserved. I am certain that angels hold her hands...sometimes handing her to Mothers or Grandmothers who have also left behind that which they held dear on earth.
I ache for a young Mother I've never met. I pray for their home, now unbearably quiet. And I treasure my daily moments a little bit more. I hold my baby a little bit tighter. And I thank God a few more times.
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