"But the angel said to her 'Do not be afraid, Mary, you have found favor with God.'" Luke 1:30

Wow. What an amazing statement...who among us, wouldn't like to find favor with God? Yet, what did that favor bestow upon her? She carried, birthed, nursed, and loved Our Savior, Jesus the Christ. Those were the good years, full of special memories, undoubtedly. In fact, after the visit from the shepherds and angels following Jesus' birth, Luke 2:19 tells us that "Mary treasured up all these things and pondered them in her heart." She didn't make a scrapbook full of pretty papers and stickers and photographs, as so many of us do today...but you can bet she had a scrapbook in her heart.

I wonder, though, how special and favored Mary felt, years later, as she watched crowds love and accept Jesus, and then turn on him? As Jewish leaders ridiculed him? And then, finally, as she watched her precious son--whom she had cradled in her arms, followed around as a toddler, and proudly watched as he grew--be crucified...a horrible, vicious death? How many of us would desire that end for our children? How many of us could stand by and watch our children tortured in such a manner? See him or her betrayed, sold, and killed for that which has not yet been fulfilled? Talk about faith! I remember the scenes in Mel Gibson's "The Passion of the Christ" movie, in which Mary weeps silently, watching her son and her Lord be crucified...then she mops up his precious blood...and followed the crowds to where he hung, uncovered and alone, on a Cross. At that moment, I realized what it meant, for Mary to have found favor in God's eyes.

Yet now, a couple thousand years later, Mary is praised often, for her service to God. For being the blessed Mother of Jesus. Her willingness to be used of God required an immense sacrifice, and through that sacrifice, God saved all of mankind. We are redeemed by Jesus' blood; blood that flowed from her veins to Our Christ's. But it was, for all its glory, a harsh reality for a Mother to face.

I wonder, what would I do, if God required such a sacrifice of me? How favored would I feel? Now, in a moment when my world is right, it is easy to say that I desire to be used for His glory. Sure...that whole eternal perspective thing. Whatever God desires. Because, after all, I am His. All that He has given me, is His. My husband, my children. But then, I am a Mother. I have a Mother's heart. Could I give up one of my precious children? Or all of them, as some have, for the sake of bringing glory to God?

It is easy to desire glory for God, when all is well. But can it be well with my soul, in the midst of a storm? In the darkness that has no light? I watch, in total amazement and admiration, as others are forced to choose Christ, even when He finds favor with them, and thereby chooses to use them for His glory...and that often calls for a great, great sacrifice. Pain I can't imagine. They are living through such a trial right now. I pray I would have such courage, in the midst of such tragedy....

My Grandmother Black used to tell my mother, growing up, that God gives us our ticket when it's time to ride the train. My Mother taught the phrase to me, and the hard way, I learned its meaning time and time again. We do not have the grace to walk where others walk...God gives us the grace to walk the path He sets before us. And He gives us that grace when we need it, and not before. I can look at tragedy and think "I couldn't live through that..." and maybe I couldn't. But if God calls me to, then I must walk in faith and accept the grace He gives me, when He gives it to me, so that I will be found faithful.

Some things make no sense, they have no answers this side of heaven. But we do not see the future, and we do not know the reasons for God's choices. We do not see what He sees. It is great peace, then, to know and trust the One who can indeed see the past, present, and future. He alone knows what will bring glory to His Name, and what will be best for us. These lessons sometimes come at a great price. As does His favor. Yet for He Who has given all, what else could we do? For He Who owns all, what else could we give, but ourselves and our lives?

Please keep praying for the McClenahan's. And for their close friends and family; this loss of little Cora is felt keenly by all, and she leaves a hole in the lives of all who knew and loved her, in addition to her own young parents. Even now, days later, this family and their great ache remains on my heart and in my prayers. It is unforgettable, this story. And it happens to many, across the country, I know. Precious babies in Heaven.