All in a Day of Teaching

Some days, it is the teacher who learns more than the student. Today, we (my daughter and I) began to work on Math again—after probably too much of a break from it (can you say ‘retention loss’?). In only a few minutes, my bright daughter was frustrated to the point of tears, as was her teacher (me). It’s not so much that she can’t remember her addition facts, it is more that she’s not trying to—even with prompting such as “count by 5s, honey!”. She is discouraged before we really even start! Quietly concerned, I sat down with my Ray’s Arithmetic books, and most importantly, the Teacher Guide to the series (written by well-respected Dr Ruth Beechick). I realized that I had not done enough review with my daughter, as we were learning—at least not as much as she needed to learn her facts more concretely. She had done well with visualization and so I had moved on…but…after a summer break, it is apparent that we will need to do a LOT of review before moving forward. And that’s okay…I’m still learning too. Math is not her strong subject and memorization is not her strength either. She simply excels in other areas. And, adding to the challenge, she hates worksheets and drill work! But gentle drill we must do; review, review, review. I’m not concerned; she will catch up when she’s ready, as long as we are diligently working at it.

Back to her tears…several minutes later she is expressing a ridiculous amount of frustration over problems that are not difficult, but do require effort. She is allowed to use manipulatives to figure her work, so there really shouldn’t be ANY frustration. Furthermore, there is still an inordinate amount of tears. “Maybe she’s tired,” I think. But this goes deeper than the words “settle down!” Gathering my patience and a much kinder voice, I follow her to her room where she has retreated to do her work in quiet. Asking a couple questions about her frustration yields large teardrops falling to her page of problems. I’m so glad I took time to stop and listen to my little girl. I quickly hear that her voice holds more hurt than anger. She calls herself ‘stupid’ and ‘bad at math’—well, she is bright (as are all children, in their own ways!) and barely starting 3rd grade is far too early to be considered ‘bad’ at any subject, much less math! I tell her this gently and we talk some more….

My little one puts on a strong front, and can be quite the “know-it-all” (dare I guess where she gets it?), but deep inside she has the same streak of sensitivity I have. It’s the kind that never lets on when something hurts us; we probably don’t even cry, maybe not for weeks and weeks. Until one day, something punches that hidden bubble, and it bursts. Turns out, while taking a roadtrip last Spring, with one of her playmates, they had played an oral math game. Very soon into the game, my daughter couldn’t answer the problems anymore. She was told firmly by her peer, that she wasn’t very good at math at all. Maybe a couple of other demeaning statements; not really so cruelly intended at all—just a kid saying what kids say. Well, this situation was never shared with us, her parents, in typical half-kid/half-preteen fashion. She is just beginning those years of maturing, at the young age of 8. So, anyway…the story comes out, through tears. Those thoughtless but very typical kid-to-kid remarks cut my little one deeply, adding to an insecurity she already had, just because math frustrates her and she knows she doesn’t “get it” easily. Unfortunately, these types of kid statements are made, not infrequently, by this friend, so we are careful with the time my daughter spends with her (and we continue to work with our girl on learning to have self-confidence no matter what others say, and on placing importance in what God thinks, not what others think, etc. She will toughen up as she grows, but I want the toughening to be healthy confidence, and not just a brick wall around her heart!) My young one goes on to say that the remarks hurt her, and so she quit telling others that math wasn’t her thing; she made sure to keep it a secret from everyone else. My Mother’s heart nearly broke…I wish I had probed more about her hatred of math a few months ago, and learned then, what I learned today. Her resistance to math work, is what led me to choose to take a break from it, and has also led to frustration on my part as well, when it became a discipline issue. I had no idea there was a deeper “heart” issue at stake.

I lied down on her bed, and had her come snuggle with me as we talked more about it, and talked about strengths and weaknesses, our feelings, developing confidence in ourselves and most importantly in who we are in God, etc. Several minutes later, she seemed better, and was able to calmly sit and finish her work. Using her manipulatives, but with no more tears, no more frustration, and the gentle reassurance from her Mom that she desperately needs, but which I have been too lax at offering (much to my own shame). She is now having a remarkably good day, and playing happily—although—I’m not sure how much more “school” will be completed. I think we may have both learned enough for today!

Times like this, I am so glad she is at home with me, to learn. Although I learned some lessons today myself—I surely did!—I also was able to love her as her Mother, and offer unqualified acceptance to her broken little heart. I was able to see past defiance and frustration and (finally) discover the heart issue at stake with this subject called “math”. I wish I had slowed down and taken more time weeks ago; displayed more patience and softness to my little girl. It is so easy to think of her as ‘half-grown’ because she is my oldest. But she is far from grown, and is still quite young and in need of help, more often than she likes to admit. I must learn to be sensitive to this; of course, children come to us in their own time, and there’s no guarantee that she would have shared her troubles back when it happened. But I hadn’t given her enough opportunity either. Children need to feel safe and loved and protected before they will open up; another lesson to remember!

My patience and diligence—as both her Mother and her Teacher—are crucial now, especially in math. We have much review to do, but she is young and we have plenty of time. There is no need to worry if she is keeping up with her peers; as long as we keep moving forward, she will catch up. One reason to homeschool, is for the sake of individuality—for the purpose of *not* forcing my children to fit into the “one-speed-fits-all” box that prevails in typical school systems. I will develop a plan which will mix the use of worksheets (I can custom-print my own), the use of colorful ‘review’ type workbooks (already own, thanks to sister-in-law cleaning out her bookshelves!), the use of oral work and flashcard games, and, my daughter’s favorite—computer games (free on internet)! I will be using a similar mix of activities to work with my son on the alphabet and phonics. And maybe, for his math as well. (Which explains our interest in setting up an older computer with the new parts necessary to have our kids use it for educational purposes). I believe, with our combined efforts (of both myself and my daughter), we can conquer her math fears and hopefully, build a general sense of confidence in her heart as well, as we review and learn.

A thankful list on Thursday

I am thankful for the deluge of rain we had last night…at first, it just poured down solidly with the wind whipping. Fun to listen to…but then, it turned into continual roars of thunder (really loud!) and lightning forking across the sky. A real summertime thunderstorm.

I am also thankful that 2 of my 3 kids slept through it…even I had trouble sleeping. Eventually, it stopped, but then started awhile later. Ugh. Today I am extremely groggy. BUT, I’m still grateful for the moisture. We are in quite the heatwave around here (100s) and it has been dry, dry. I wish a cool front had come with the rain, but, in August, that is really a bit much to even hope for!!

Given my groggy and grumpy state this morning, I am exceedingly grateful for my large mug of tea. And for the bowl of ‘bulgur porridge’ I just made for my toddler and I. (Older kids have already made themselves their cereal!) I’m hoping that the nutrients will help kickstart my energy, as I have laundry waiting for me…and grumpy kids…and school…the list goes on!

I am thankful that September is just around the corner. While we may retain heated temperatures, by the end of September, we will be catching glimpses of Fall around here, and I can’t wait. Even as a homeschool Mom, I love “back-to-school” time. Our own home takes on a new rhythm; I take advantage of school supplies sales; we return to explore the zoo (in cooler temps!); the library is, once again, empty!! (I just remembered, I am planning a garage sale in late September—ugh—as much as I want to CLEAR OUT, the thought of all the work is exhausting right now!)

I am thankful for the ‘quiet time’ I had with my husband last night…listening to the rain, talking, relaxing.

I am thankful for the small box of ‘Yankee’ votive candles I have. Just the thing I need to scent up the kitchen! Ohhhh, and I can’t wait to begin using my favored autumnal scents—the spicy ones. Mmmm!

I am thankful my new little niece was born this week—with no complications, a perfect little angel—number 4 to her family (my younger brother). 2 boys, then 2 girls. We will get to meet her a little later this month, but my parents came home from a quick visit (the family lives out of town), just raving about the new, sweet Grandbaby. Number 12 for them.

I am thankful for the bag of ‘pepitas’ I picked up yesterday at Whole Foods—which—I can’t seem to stay out of! Yes, I chose ‘roasted and salted’. J They are a good snack, and are inexpensive! Pepitas (little green pumpkin seeds) are a bit different from our typical jack-o-lantern pumpkin seeds, and are available year round. They combine wonderfully with other trail mix ingredients, but are just as yummy on their own—or—with dried cranberries. I haven’t tried them with chocolate chips, but, mixture of ‘sweet-n-salty’ is a tried and true favorite, so that might be worth eating!

I am thankful for my children and my husband…some days I think I do an okay job caring for them—but—I am still aware of how short I fall, and the grace I need to get through my days!

I am eternally grateful for Our God we serve and trust, for His grace, and for the peace He offers to those who simply lean on Him.

News and a Starbucks Story

I’m starting off my blog with an incredibly important piece of news….are you ready? Peter Pan peanut butter will be on shelves again NEXT MONTH!!!!!!!! (Or maybe this month, depending on stores stocking the product…) For serious Peter Pan PB addicts, like myself, this is almost the best news of the summer. I am sooooo tired of Jif (no offense to my Jif-loving xangans). I’m ready for my 6 lb tub of Peter Pan PB (Sam’s). Yes, I bulk-buy PB and we actually use it. And no, I’m not worried about its safety—in fact, after the numerous plant inspections and extensive micro-cleaning and safety procedures, I figure Peter Pan is actually the SAFEST peanut butter around. LOL!

In other news, my husband and I are busy creating Starbucks addicts out of our children. We don’t go weekly or anything; maybe once a month or less (generally speaking, but when I’m given a “card”, then sometimes we get extra visits!). So anyway, if we can afford to, we buy a drink for our two older kids to split—like a frappucino or something. Trouble is, my toddler is now yelling for her fair share these days. She used to happily take a drink when we shared with her—and then hand the cup back. But now, she holds on tightly! Tonight, she and I were running a couple errands, and so I thought I’d grab a Starbucks while we were out. She took a very late nap today and so I expect to be up quite late tonight. My little monkey starts clapping as soon as we hit the Starbucks drive thru.  Isn’t that hilarious? Needless to say, I ordered a “Venti” drink (iced mocha, lite ice) and asked for an extra cup/lid/straw so I could share just a little bit with her. Kept her quite happy the rest of the ride. Her favorite thing to do, besides drinking it (and she does like to sip my hot coffee or hot tea, by the way) was to pull the straw OUT of the cup and lick off the whipped cream. Very cute, but also rather messy. She had cream and coffee droplets all over her face, her carseat, her dress, etc. Oh well. It could be an Mastercard commercial. Cost of gas to get to Starbucks? 50 cents. Cost of a venti Starbucks drink? 4 dollars. Cost of a box of wipes to clean up the mess? 3 dollars. Passing on a love of coffee to my toddler? Priceless. 

And now I’m off to chase my caffeine-laced child. Naw, she barely got a few sips…she was mostly interested in the cream. That’s my girl! But she really is busy running around and giggling, with no signs of slowing down yet. Ugh. It’s 20 till 10pm. I’m rather glad for the caffeine I had.

Today is a junk mail day. I hate junk mail days--those days in which nothing interesting comes in the mail. Ordinarily, mail might not be "an event". But for a homeschooling Mom of (almost) 4, well, life gets s-l-o-w around here, and there are days that even internet buzz is slow. On such days, it is a delight to find something of interest in the mailbox. Y'know...a glossy new magazine; perhaps Martha Stewart...or...well, that's my only current subscription, and although I love the magazine, she sure needs to step into REAL LIFE someday. LOL. Even the jail stint didn't do it! Maybe I need to add something else! Anyway, maybe a personal letter or card might come, an unexpected check (yeah, that's a rarity, but we praise God when it happens!)...maybe a much-anticipated Netflix movie (even if it's for the kids, then, hey! Mom might get a break!). Something, anything...grocery ads with which to menu plan.... I digress.

But today, there was NOTHING. A pathetic flyer of non-ads and a single envelope hiding some ridiculous offer. Straight into the trash it went. Oh, what a lovely thing it would have been, if a new magazine had come! But it did not.

And to add to the day's misery, I have a nasty headache--which I've medicated, but to no avail. It is all sinus-related. Thanks to the lingering cold I have. And my toddler has caught it as well. The good thing about that is simply that I give myself permission to medicate her at night time--which means--she'll fall asleep early. Hopefully. But I'd still rather she were healthy. My head is throbbing. That kind of throbbing in which it makes my stomach nauseated. Yuck.

Another Thursday to be Thankful

This week it is quite easy to come up with a thankful list: it’s been a good week, all the way around! These are the weeks to really praise God for His grace in our current situations, for the life He’s given me, for my family that surrounds me, and the home we live in. And those definitely top my list!!

I am thankful for the time I had with my oldest daughter last night. We visited some fabric stores, searching for the perfect quilt backing material for the baby quilt I’m working on. While unsuccessful, I did choose the store I will return to and check again. We also enjoyed Starbucks together—one of her favorite things to do with Mom. What precious time together! Being the oldest is a tough job, and it is truly a blessing to have time out that we both enjoy.

I am thankful for some good, solid talks and eventual resolutions that my husband and I were able to work through this week. Nothing earth-shattering; just the kind of stuff that life brings once in awhile.

I am thankful for the fresh garden vegetables we’ve received this year; mostly from my Dad, but also from our neighbor. The girls and I love vegetables so we really enjoy it! My son and husband, well, not so much…but that’s okay.

I am thankful that the kids have had a wonderful week of Bible School! They leave, so excited every day…and come home tired, but full of words! What a blessing to have a nearby, small church they can attend at; a place where I feel comfortable letting them go, and where my neighbor herself goes along with them. It is a delightful week every single year. Even my toddler hasn’t noticed her siblings missing (partly due to PBS!) which has been an additional blessing, as she is typically very aware and very unhappy to be left out of anything!!

I am thankful for some rearranging we did in our home, to make our space suited to the way we are currently living and the stages our children are at. So far, these little changes are working so well for us!

I’m thankful that this summer cold I caught is almost over! I was just dead tired Tuesday—unusual as that is typically a good day in the week—and it turns out, I was working on a cold. YUCK. But it seems that perhaps I will be able to throw it off without too much trouble. Praise God! I hate being sick—and pregnant—and a Mommy, all at the same time!

I’m thankful that August is nearly here—I’m tired of summer—and this marks our last month. School starts around here, mid-month, so the city’s attractions, parks, libraries, will once again be quiet in the daytime. And I can enjoy the back-to-school sales, as our budget allows.

I’m thankful for the many homeschooling resources, websites, books, etc that enable uncreative folks like myself to homeschool with ease. Well, with relative ease. There is so much information out there, so many terrific blogs full of inspiration and ideas…so many books that are uplifting and encouraging…I am truly thankful for them all. AND, for the freedom to homeschool as I desire. There are many countries which still hold homeschooling illegal, and many places in which it is not so easily done. Here in America, it is legal, relatively simple in most districts, and we are blessed with much support from one another. How incredibly fortunate we are that others have worked hard, and sacrificed much to pave this road. And that legal teams (HSLDA specifically) continue the work, ensuring continued freedom for all of us.

On a lighter note, I am thankful for my “black currant” tea today—it is hot right now, but a 2nd cup is brewing, which will then be iced. Ahhhhhh!

Time to go switch laundry and get to some kitchen work awaiting me. Hope you all have a great week-ending, as you look into your own lives, and consider the blessings, both big and small. Even in the midst of trials, there is always something to thank Our God for—even if it is simply life itself.

A list to be thankful for

Ahhhh, another Thursday has arrived. And last week, I missed it. Life was busy—just—well—being lived! Oh, how I miss blogging, but, with 3.5 kids about…it seems that my time to “blog” is much limited. I know that many of you relate to this, and I see dear xanga pals leave, or be absent for weeks at a time. I miss them—but—I understand. Blogging cannot come before actually living the life we blog about!! And a blog must be for “our” convenience, even when we wish to minister or encourage others with our sites. We cannot become slaves to the blog. But for those of us who feel drawn to “writing”, the struggle for balance continues. J Despite the changes to my personal time, I am so thankful for my children. They are amazing (most days!). And I’m thankful for my husband too—their Daddy.

Today, I have already begun laundry—which—is behind, as usual. I have decided that I may never actually “catch up” with it. It will be rotating piles instead. Just when I catch up the clothing, there are endless sheets and towels. But the hardest part is “starting” each day…and since I’ve started it, I will soon have the reward of switching the load to the dryer—and—washing load #2 for the day. I hope to get a 3rd done as well. We shall see. But I’m thankful for energy to get started, at least.

School has been less “serious” this week, as we’ve spent some time with games (which typically have some educational value), with books (which we love!), and with imaginative play (which builds brother/sister relationship bonds). I am thankful for the delightful sounds of playing and laughter, and reading aloud, and squealing over games. We also had some time at the nearby park, with Daddy; our city park dept added a new piece of equipment, so of course, we HAD to go! Our neighborhood park is a great one, and worthy of being “thankful for”!

I am also thankful to have chicken marinating for dinner tonight. It isn’t every day that I’m on top of dinner, even before lunch time!! But this is one of those great days. J

Yesterday, I was FINALLY able to restock my black teas, at my favorite local store. Green teas are just not tasting right to me, during this pregnancy. Weird, and annoying, since I had already stocked up my favorite greens. BUT, I do love black tea as well—and—there are some wonderful flavors to be had. Today, I simply enjoyed a cup of “English Breakfast”; a nice, mild and plain-flavored tea. And good with milk, I might add! I particularly love the blends that my favorite shop puts together (I generally buy my spices here as well). Anyway, I also purchased Apricot Brandy, Earl Gray, and Black Currant to keep me caffeinated. I will be icing the Apricot Brandy, as well as enjoying it hot. I’ve been out of these teas for awhile, so I am incredibly thankful to have them in my tea cupboard again.

I’m thankful to have stocked the fridge—although it won’t last! I have a Sam's membership, thanks to my Dad, and the bonus is that it’s a “business membership”. This doesn’t mean much—but—it allows me to get in early (7am to 10am) and shop when the warehouse is less crowded than normal, as the general memberships are not allowed in until 10am. I’ve never taken advantage of this benefit—until yesterday! Wow! What a difference in time. I didn’t have a large list, but I sure glided right through the store, and strolled right up to an open register to check out. Yippeee! (Yes, it is easy to “make my day!”)

My husband brought me a Starbucks card! Many of you know that this is well worth a place on my thankful list. It is the season for iced mochas, after all! And without a prepaid card, Starbucks is a rare treat. The card, is an even rarer treat, I might add!

I’m thankful for shopping options; Dillons (Kroger) which puts on some good sales, Walmart (supposedly the lowest everyday prices), Sam’s, etc…as gasoline prices rise, and our local natural gas and water prices go up (ugh!), it seems that our pockets are squeezed tighter, and we have no increase in pay to help this. These companies can all pass on THEIR expenses, but, we are stuck paying them, with no way out. In addition, as I’ve mentioned, our groceries go up regularly. Are you all noticing this too? Frustrating! My Sam’s expenses were about $5 above what they were two weeks ago on dairy items alone! Anyway…I will have to work harder at cutting coupons again, and at price-shopping, even if it means hitting more than one store. My drive time isn’t much at all, as we live within 5 miles (or so) of all 3 grocery chains. I’m thankful to be close enough to shop around—and—to have the options here in our metro area.

I’m thankful, above all, to be able to take my concerns to God. To trust Him for our provisions. Sure, I must do my part, and try to be a wise steward—thus the additional grocery endeavors! But I can trust in His word, that He will provide for our needs. And He often blesses us with small luxuries too, which I cannot take for granted. As tightly as we live, we are rich by comparison. And richly blessed with children, too. Our society today is much more concerned with the “cost” of raising kids, than with the blessing that these little ones are. I am thankful to view them as gifts from God—however difficult some weeks may be—they are, indeed, gifts to cherish. I do not know how I would have any peace at all, if it weren’t for resting in His promises, and the knowledge that someday, this world shall pass away, with all its trials and struggles.

Congratulations to all of you who actually finished READING this thankful list!! I always appreciate hearing from you, and reading many of your blogs regularly. May you each have a wonderful day, as you consider the blessings in your life—both big and small.

Been awhile...

Well! I haven't visited my beloved "private" blog in far too long. And for good reason; shortly after my last post, I became incredibly ill for a couple of months. Ill with a new baby, that is! Yup, come December, we will (with God's grace) welcome baby #4 into our household. My first trimester of pregnancy is ALWAYS a total wipeout in which I seek mainly to survive. I did--thanks to my patient kids, my helpful (in crisis!!) husband, and Our Gracious God.

Now...I'm entering trimester 2, and feeling some of my energy return. Of course, that cuppa joe--or tea--helps. And honestly, I'm up to about 2 cups each morning. LOL.

While no one actually READS this blog--or at least, no one that I'm aware of--my intent is, to keep up with this blog periodically; for my self, as well as for anyone who happens by! As well, to be able to share some thoughts I may not share on my other blog which is read by many folks I "know" (family included!). I desire to be the same person to all, but, reality is that it is often easier to open up to strangers--and sometimes innermost thoughts are too private for folks you actually KNOW to read. How's that for irony? Then there's always the pressure to be "who I am"--even though I may be changing, morphing, etc. Anyway, here's a link to my other blog, where I am more frequently found: http://www.xanga.com/SimpliciTea